Why Is Forgiveness So Hard?

The power and freedom of choosing love.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

I visited the Camp Gordon Johnston World War 2 museum in Carrabelle this past weekend with my mom. She wanted to see a special holocaust exhibit they had there.

It was a small area with some facts, mostly taken from the History Channel with some black and white photos detailing one of the most atrocious events in modern history. Including a few that were taken by a local woman's grandfather and hidden away afterward, as he did so illegally at the time. Photos of bodies stacked in piles like yard waste on the side of the road.

Something new I did learn was that it was closer to 12 million that perished in the holocaust. Besides Jews, there were also Russians, political prisoners, people with special needs, etc.

One photo in particular caught my eye. It was some American soldiers executing Nazi SS officers at a concentration camp by firing squad. They had done so without orders and faced legal action.

"You know what? I would have gladly shot those officers." I thought to myself. "Maybe done worse. Maybe I would've shoved them into the gas chambers. Maybe I would want to torture them so badly that they would beg for death!"

At that moment, I couldn't imagine forgiving someone for such a heinous crime.

Unable to stomach anymore, I wandered around the museum and saw many other fascinating artifacts, including a room that showed what the barracks at the camp looked like. Camp Gordon Johnston was where US troops, black and white, trained for the Normandy Beach landing in 1944.

Then, I came up to another exhibit detailing the experience of African American soldiers. It was during Jim Crow Segregation in Florida, so not well oftentimes. I was expecting to read about discrimination.

I came across one slightly redeeming artifact. I saw a poster with a photo of a black man and a white man working on something mechanical together. In big letters underneath-United We Win-an early civil rights effort during World War Two.

Even though I expected it, reading about the discrimination and mistreatment they faced made me angry, too.

Why is forgiveness so hard?

Because it feels like rolling over, it feels like surrender. We want justice, and we want vengeance.

Corrie Ten Boom, author of The Hiding Place, knew this struggle well. According to this article, A concentration camp survivor,she came across an SS officer that she remembered at a church in Munich. He told her that he had found Jesus and stretched out his hand. According to the article, Corrie Ten Boom was compelled to forgive this man, but she could not do so on her own. The pain and memories of the past surged through her mind. After praying and asking Jesus to "Give her His forgiveness," she found a love for this man spring up in her soul, and she was able to take his hand.

That's the beauty of the gospel message, and forgiveness is at the core of it!

I went to an African American genealogy event at a library years ago. The speaker told the story of two of her enslaved ancestors who, after the Civil War, forgave their former master and mistress, and they became good friends.

Two black ladies in front of me scoffed over the very idea of it.

I've had to forgive family members, friends, and teachers for the pain they caused me. You probably have, too.

Forgiveness is an act of the will. You are choosing to release the pain. Holding on to anger may make you feel powerful and that power can be a driving force, which is why culture encourages us NOT to forgive or calls forgiveness weak.

It can feel like weakness, but it's actually a form of strength. It's one of the most powerful things you can do. It doesn't mean that you're overlooking the wrong or that there won't be consequences. You're rising above pain and choosing to love.

That's what forgiveness is—choosing love and reconciliation.

That's another way you can live free!

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Do you believe forgiveness can set you free? Why or why not?

Let me know in the comments or reply to this email!